Are You On the List?

So how does one get on the mother-of-all lists? The Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit list?
I confess that I am utterly fascinated with this guy. Never even heard of him until today. Presenting for your enjoyment a roundup from the internet and blogosphere the wackiness that is Jonathan Lee Riches:

From Dreadnaught, via Ace a complaint from July naming as defendents Gitmo, Abu Ghraib, Bataan Death March, and Shawshank Redemption (among others). How do you name a movie as a defendent? He's seeking 728 trillion dollars and claiming that the defendents have built secret tunnels that connect around the world and that they force him to eat live rats and roll in kitty litter for punishment.

This guy is freakin' hilarious! I just can't get enough!

For more laughs see these:

Here's the original 57-page lawsuit filed in 2006 with almost every defendent you can name (except me). There doesn't seem to be a complaint in this one, however. (also from Ace)

And of course, the one that started it for me: The complaint against Michael Vick for 63 billion dollars. Ha! It alleges that Vick stole his dogs, sold them on eBay and then used the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran.

It's worth noting that Mr. Vick pledged his allegiance to al-Qaida, so you can't really be surprised by the dog-eBay-Iranian missile play. I mean, didn't we all see that one coming?

link via Girls Gone Sports

and certainly not least, the complaint against the Jewish Mossad, the CIA and Larry King Live which asserts that Larry King is a voodoo witch doctor.

Good Times.

Someone has got to interview this guy and see if he's really nuts or if he's just killin' time.

Another Video!!!

Great Line:
"Their lack of rhythm, it's affecting our crops."

Best Line:
"Some people are saying, that, in a hundred years, we'll be the minorities."(laughs)
via Right Wing News

Can I Get An AMEN?

Matt Moore - The Future Looks Bright...

So I watched the pre-season Cowboys last night and took away one good thing:

I'm in serious like with Matt Moore - I really hope he is put on the roster.

In Which We Find Trouble at the DMV

Actually in Texas, it's the DPS (Department of Public Safety).

So the Boyfriend is in the process of giving up his New York State identity to become a full-fledged Texan, and this morning it warranted a trip to the DPS to get a Texas Driver's License.

Had to make a few stops first, though. Before you can get a TX DL you have to get your truck registered in the state.

But, before you can have your truck registered in the state, you must have your truck inspected in the state.

Guess how many places we went before we figured this out???

Once we finally made it to the DPS, most of the morning had elapsed and the Boyfriend was in an awful mood. Standing in line for 30 minutes did not make it any better. In front of us was the smelly guy with 9 piercings on his face (I counted, I had the time) and behind us was the smelly lady with a mustache who kept licking her lips loudly. And I'm not just saying smelly to be mean. The pincushion guy smelled like stale cigarette smoke, and as he had been waiting in line for 1/2 and hour like us, he was also getting agitated and kept exhaling those big puffy breaths that let everyone know that you are just about done waiting. Oooooh - the stink!

The chubby lady behind us just had really bad B.O. Someone introduce her to a shower please!

So we finally get up to the counter and we have with us the proper form all filled out in black ink, the Boyfriend's valid NY State License, the copy of the TX registration, the copy of the TX inspection, a Social Security earnings statement (he's lost his card) and his valid Passport.

Guess what? No Social Security Card, no TX Driver's License. After all that other gov't issued crap with pictures and fingerprints and SS Numbers everywhere - no dice. She told us we had to go to the SS Administration (guess how long that line was???) and either order a new card or get a Social Security Verification form signed and notarized.

The Boyfriend does not want to be a Texan anymore.

I can't say I blame him.

I Call Bullshit!

Why would I want a "feminine guy"? I'm already pretty feminine. Some wacky scientists in England say that women prefer feminine looking men as long-term partners rather than masculine looking men. WTF???

Here's an actual quote from the article:

Men with square jaws, larger noses and smaller eyes were classed as significantly more dominant, less faithful, worse parents and as having less warm personalities.

Well I'm sure glad that someone alerted me, because now I must get rid of my 6'2 square-jawed, large-honkered(is that a word?) boyfriend who I actually planned to marry and have children with!!

Who are the idiots coming up with this lame-ass crap about what's attractive? Are they the gay-looking effeminate dorks who spend their time in science labs or are they man-hating feminazi's who just happen to be straight.

I just don't get it. What woman wants to be with a man who is pretty?