Well, the happiness project did not go well. I finally had to break down and go to the doctor. It's helped except that I have a long way to go on my own. After lots of tests the doctor ultimately put me on thyroid medicine which helped for a few weeks. I felt great! Then I crashed and burned. I went back on Ambien, but it doesn't last all night, so the doc gave me xanax to take with the ambien since the ambien CR does not have a generic. and funnily enough, it's working like a charm. I take my pills at 9:30 and drift off to sleep by eleven and sleep all night. I don't even take my pain pills for my back anymore.
but i'm still far from where i want to be. more on that later.
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