Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mid-day Report

So I'm eating lunch (oatmeal) and I'm thinking to myself, what is my biggest challenge RIGHT NOW? Meaning today, at this moment.
My biggest challenge is leaving my house. I don't know if I'd go as far as calling myself a shut-in because I'm not afraid to leave the house, I just don't want to leave the house. I go to a meeting when I must, I go to the ranch, I go to things that I feel obliged to go to, but if there is no one demanding my presence anywhere, I stay home. This is not good for obvious reasons. What's worse is that I work for myself, so not going to the office means not making money. Even the prospect of being broke is not enough to make me leave. This suggests a deeper problem than not wanting to leave.
I have no excuse and have resolved not to make excuses anymore. I have done some progressive things today which are good.
1) I woke up at an appropriate time (no sleeping in anymore) and got up
2) I started writing again and working on my goals
3) I am making a conscious effort not to obsess over the things I want to obsess over, which I have no control over (this deserves it's own post)
4) Although I have seriously bad breakfast habits (this week - Coke and M&M's) I chose to eat oatmeal for lunch instead of junk. Although since I'm trying to be honest, I added brown sugar, cinnamon honey buter and more M&M's to the oatmeal. I'm not sure that doesn't turn oatmeal into junk...
5) I also started stretching again. 15 years of classical ballet, 7 years of gymnastics, cheerleading and dance team - none of my muscles have been used since my back surgery in 1992. I feel like they've atrophied or something. But I put on my old leotards, ballet shoes and did my ballet streches (not that I got very far on day 1).
However, all of those things that are positives cannot excuse that I did not get up and go into my office FIRST and take care of business. I cannot use the rationalization that I know the problem and I'm taking good baby steps to develop better habits, because in the end, it becomes a crutch. "No, I didn't go to work, but look at all the positive stuff I've done." That can't fly.
So the question becomes - How do I get out of the house?

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