Is the election scary to most people? I'm not scared. I do not like any one left in the GOP field. Frankly, they all suck. In 2008, I honestly thought that people saw through the media hype to what Barack Obama was. (To boil it down, an America Hater) I did not feel great about John McCain, but voted for him anyway. We all know how that went. I really thought that McCain would win, despite all the pundits and news anchors saying he didn't have a chance. This time around, while I'm hopeful, I'm not so naive. I think Obama is going to pull it off again. The media is still in his pocket, or being blackmailed by the White House, or something, and the ignorance of the American people knows no bounds.

That being said, if the GOP retakes the Senate, Barack Obama's power will dimish even more, and with a majority of Governors coming from the Right side of the aisle, things have a chance to get better. But will they?

The plain fact is that the damage is done. Since the New Deal, our country has slowly gone down a socialist-like progressive slide. The proverbial slippery slope. However, Barack Obama has done more to harm the progressive agenda than an army of the most reviled Righties ever could. He has woken the country up to the real damage the progressive agenda creates. People are waking up to the threat. We may end up with a GOP controlled Congress, but lets be real. The few Congressmen that really care about small government are drowned out by the pay-to-play good ole boys - on both sides. So when Obama is re-elected, we wont have real change, even with a Republican Congress. We will tread water for four more years. I believe that the American people should spend those four years fighting the real war. Against the evil media. Some people really can only get their news from the Big 3 (+ Fox local). They did the American people very wrong. And they should be ashamed. They should be put out of business.

Confession Session

1) I did not watch the Superbowl last night - and I am a football fanatic. I am however, thrilled that the Saints beat that little girl Peyton Manning. I have no reason for it, but I can't stand the guy.
2) I caved and put all my NCIS timers back in place. I've now seen them so many times that I'm able to do other stuff (like read) with it in the background.
3) I'm feeling slightly motivated, so I might actually go into work today. My goal is to at least leave the house. We'll just see how that plays out. This melatonin gives me some funky ass dreams!

I Actually Don't Have a Case of the Mondays...

Alright, so I overslept, but for once, I don't dread the day. I wonder why that is? I did some pretty big things this last weekend. Big for me anyway. I went in and deleted all my dvr shows (re-runs only) so I won't be tempted to stay in bed and hide from the world by watching them over and over.
I deleted ALL my NCIS and Burn Notice shows - which I have found that I was really relying on as a crutch to escape my life.
I ended up setting the timers for Psych, which I don't hate, but don't find all that great. They've had a marathon the last two days and I recorded all of them, wondering if it was a bad idea, because what if I start to watch that show obsessively, but I've been playing them (I have one on right now) and it's really just background noise.
So I'm going to check my email, fb, read the news and head into work, hopefully by 12:00. That's the plan anyway...

TGIF!

I am slightly hungover from last night. I didn't even go out. I kept watching the clock until at 8:30 I couldn't stand it anymore. I fixed several vodkas and took my sleepy pills and went to bed. Took a while to work, but they finally did. Boy did I have some funky dreams! I woke up this morning thinking of the show "House". The last three or four days I've had to wake myself up from such realistic dreams that they must be hallucinations. I might be going a little to far with that. But it's a little freaky all the same.

#2 of Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Virtues

Order: Let each part of your business have it's time.

oi, this is hard!

Ugggghhhh

Well my week has sucked so I'm going to try to go out on a high note. This morning I've been a shredding fool and it is quite satisfying. I'm having someone come by late this afternoon to work in the house, so I have to be here. But no need to be here now. Wanna know why I'm ass dragging? Weeellllll, a pretty little box from Amazon was sitting on my doorstep this morning with FOUR books in them!!!! They are calling my name (it really hurts to not drop everything and just jump right in!) Problem number two: The new Burn Notice comes on tonight and they're having an ALL DAY Burn Notice MARATHON!!!!
I am soooo pathetic.

It's Wednesday...

The good news is I have to stay around the house today because Angel Pest Control is coming! Yay! Excuses not to leave the house! I really feel like ass right now so I'm not going to post, except to say: it's so kickin' ass that Scott Brown won last night!!!! I am excited to read the news blogs!!

OMG - It's 10:00 and I just woke up!!

I don't understand!!! I was in bed by an appropriate hour I did all the stuff to help me go to bed with a clear hear, took my meds and fell asleep. I woke up at 1:30, took another ambien, wide awake again at 2:30, so I got up and made a to do list. turned the ipod on real low and tried to go back to bed. I did sleep, but was awake almost every hour.
Oh well, I'm not going to let this setback interfere with my day. I at least go a do list done - we'll see how interesting it is written on meds at 2:00 in the morning!

End of Work Day Roundup

Well, I can't say I've done any work today, and no excuses - just got redirected. Mom called and wanted me to help her pick out a printer and wanted to take me to lunch at a restuarant owned by friends (and they're clients), so it was necessary. I guess I can kind of skate since MLK day had everything closed down.
So I'm going to straighten up the house, make a to do list, excercise, eat dinner, take a bath, go to bed and hit the day running tomorrow.

So how's that "Fresh on Monday" thing working out for me?

Meh. I overslept again. I acually feel great this morning, though. I spoke with my mom and we're meeting for a late lunch, then off to home depot for office supplies. Yay. I have a monetary goal set for each week and I have hit it for this week, so my goal this week it to call 20 clients, prospects and set 10 appointments. and get my marketing plan going. i've had the plan for a while, I've just never implemented it
Since it's a holiday - i'll be slightly hampered, but no matter.
So on to important things: What is rolling around in my head right now?
1) i need to call Walgreens and refill my prescription
2) if i were to leave the country and fly to England (I've always wanted to go and I have family there) no matter what the law says, I would take my pistol and carry it (concealed of course).
3)I'm supposed to go to the gym tonight, but I don't feel like going. I'm going to try to make my mood change before then.

Good Morning World!

So where am I from yesterday? Well, I overslept by about 45 minutes, but I'm not too fussed about it today, since there was one hellacious storm last night with thunder and lightening. I did not have a restful sleep. No excuses, just fact.
I've been up less than 15 minutes and am writing - good thing! Bad thing: did not get up and go at get ready and go in the office. What's worse is I'm leaving at noon to go to Odessa for the weekend. And now I'm about to do something that all "life coaches" and experts, etc would say is very wrong. Here goes: "I'm going to start fresh on Monday." Procrastination - my middle name. Oh well. I have done some positive things in the last few days. I'm going to try to post again before I leave for Odessa this afternoon so I can develop the habit.

Mid-day Report

So I'm eating lunch (oatmeal) and I'm thinking to myself, what is my biggest challenge RIGHT NOW? Meaning today, at this moment.
My biggest challenge is leaving my house. I don't know if I'd go as far as calling myself a shut-in because I'm not afraid to leave the house, I just don't want to leave the house. I go to a meeting when I must, I go to the ranch, I go to things that I feel obliged to go to, but if there is no one demanding my presence anywhere, I stay home. This is not good for obvious reasons. What's worse is that I work for myself, so not going to the office means not making money. Even the prospect of being broke is not enough to make me leave. This suggests a deeper problem than not wanting to leave.
I have no excuse and have resolved not to make excuses anymore. I have done some progressive things today which are good.
1) I woke up at an appropriate time (no sleeping in anymore) and got up
2) I started writing again and working on my goals
3) I am making a conscious effort not to obsess over the things I want to obsess over, which I have no control over (this deserves it's own post)
4) Although I have seriously bad breakfast habits (this week - Coke and M&M's) I chose to eat oatmeal for lunch instead of junk. Although since I'm trying to be honest, I added brown sugar, cinnamon honey buter and more M&M's to the oatmeal. I'm not sure that doesn't turn oatmeal into junk...
5) I also started stretching again. 15 years of classical ballet, 7 years of gymnastics, cheerleading and dance team - none of my muscles have been used since my back surgery in 1992. I feel like they've atrophied or something. But I put on my old leotards, ballet shoes and did my ballet streches (not that I got very far on day 1).
However, all of those things that are positives cannot excuse that I did not get up and go into my office FIRST and take care of business. I cannot use the rationalization that I know the problem and I'm taking good baby steps to develop better habits, because in the end, it becomes a crutch. "No, I didn't go to work, but look at all the positive stuff I've done." That can't fly.
So the question becomes - How do I get out of the house?

Third Time's the Charm?

I'm back to posting again - or at least trying to post. Every time I look at the posting box I freeze up. What do I post about. My personal life and journey? Politics? Football and Rodeo? My brain goes all over the place. I guess I'll just have to post the random chaos in my brain until I find a pattern. Maybe it will help to organize my brain and therefore my life.

The Next Day

As no one reads this, I don't mind sharing the truly boring and mundane. It's supposed to be therapeutic, and above all, it gets me writng again. Today was, well, a decent day. I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to, although I did manage to get out of the house and do some shopping and I did some work - not a full days work, but I did thngs I've managed to put off for a while.
I als worked out - it's all about the baby steps. Not going be a long post ranting about things I can't change yet until I get my health back. I need to buy a scale. One month ago at the doctor I weighed in at 88 pounds. I've weighed 105 to 108 for as long as I can remember, then I got down to 95 and the doc told me not to worry, but 88 pounds was cause for worry.
As of tonight, I don't know what I weith, but I look way better. I'm going to try to write short psts every night until I feel like really talking and starting up my novel wiritn again

Update on the Happiness Project

Well, the happiness project did not go well. I finally had to break down and go to the doctor. It's helped except that I have a long way to go on my own. After lots of tests the doctor ultimately put me on thyroid medicine which helped for a few weeks. I felt great! Then I crashed and burned. I went back on Ambien, but it doesn't last all night, so the doc gave me xanax to take with the ambien since the ambien CR does not have a generic. and funnily enough, it's working like a charm. I take my pills at 9:30 and drift off to sleep by eleven and sleep all night. I don't even take my pain pills for my back anymore.

but i'm still far from where i want to be. more on that later.

Day 3 of the Happiness Project

It' not going so well. Partly its just because I have fallen into a very unhealthy routine and I know it's going to be tough to kick it. (Nothing really bad, mind you. In a word: laziness) However, this morning I missed work, and even though it was my fault, there was no help for it. I had some prescriptions refilled and for the first time I did them online at Walgreens. However, following my M.O. I rushed through the online system and didn't pay attention to what I was doing.
I checked the refill box for the wrong prescription. It was for a scrip that my doctor gave me months ago to help me sleep and control back pain. I hated the side effects so I quit taking it. I didn't bother to check the bottle when I took a pill this morning. When I got into the truck to leave for work, I was so dizzy and tired I just couldn't believe it. That's when I went in the house and looked at the pharmacy packaging and realized that I had taken a sleeping pill this morning.
Nothing to be done. I can't drive like that. So I didn't make it into work until 12:30. I feel lethargic and blah.

Happiness Project - Day 1

So I'm midway through Day 1 of my Happiness Project. My focus right now is to work hard on item #2 of Ben Franklin's Thirteen Virtues.
Order - Let each part of your business have it's time.

I'm making good progress. I've stayed focused on the task at hand. When I've wanted to stray to the internet I have successfully resisited the temptation (I am such a news junkie!! It's pathetic!) I'm following the goals I've set on Joe's Goals with one minor blip. I didn't sleep in this morning, but I didn't get here as early as I wanted. But I won't beat myself up over it. Baby steps...

I'm having a lunch break right now and I feel good about treating myself to some down time. Yay me!

My Own Happiness Project

I just ran across Gretchen Rubin's site discussing the Happiness Project and I decided to start one of my own!


I have no idea how it works, but I guess I'll figure it out as I go along.

I've now set up a chart from Joe's Goals (although so far, I only have one goal!) and I'm posting Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Subjects.


Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

So where am I on these? Well, I'm not going to worry about Temperance. I'm there on that one. Order, well, that's going to take some work.

Strictly speaking, on the first half of that sentence - I'm there. "Let all your things have their places". I like my life orderly and I want my life orderly. All things in my home and in my office have their place and sometimes I can get slightly obessive about it, but I realize that it is just me trying to control things when I'm feeling out of control. I'm not worried about the "chaos" in that respect.

The second part of that sentence, not so much. "Let each part of your business have its time". This is where I have a big problem. I get distracted very easily and some days I will spend so much time doing everything but work during working hours that I can't sleep at night because of the guilt.

So for the first part of my Happiness Project, this will be what I focus on to begin with.
Baby steps, baby steps...

Update
I've gone back to Joe's Goals and added everything I can think of off the top of my head to keep focused on the task at hand. Namely, work first, everything else later.

I also made Joe's Goals my homepage, so every time I turn my computer on, I go there first.

My Upcoming Trip

So I'm going hunting in Montana in less than 3 weeks. I cannot wait! I've never been to Montana before and this trip will definately test my mettle. The boyfriend and I are going to be gone for 10 days.

So I had to get a new gun. I usually shoot a .243, but I need a bit more firepower to take down an elk. So I got this:

It's a Tikka T3 30-06, synthetic stock and stainless steel barrel. I'm normally a fan of the wood grain, just because I'm a traditionalist, but for extreme temperatures, I decided to go the other way.

I love, love, love it!!! It's so light, so it will be a breeze hiking in the mountains with it, however, it does pack a punch! I knew to expect a recoil, but it was a bit overwhelming.

I named it Sarah.

Third Time's the Charm?

Ok, I going to try one more time to do this blog thing. Every day I watch the news and I think, omg, I'm going to post about that! Then I read exactly what I'm thinking on five different blogs, so then I go... meh.

Well, I think I'll give it another try. We'll see...